Join the biological revolt against TARGET! Top 10 things to do (hilarious satire – video)

TARGET says you can claim to have whatever biology you want!

If you “think” you’re a woman, you can use the woman’s restroom.

But why stop at gender delusions?

Here’s what else you can do at TARGET stores by “self-identifying” with fictional biology…

…and if anybody stops you, just call them a BIGOT or HATER!

#1) Self-identify as a water buffalo and take a crap right in the store aisles.

… for best results, eat a really high fiber diet in advance …

#2) After declaring yourself to be a super sniffing DOG, randomly walk up to Target shoppers and start sniffing their crotches. If they complain, explain to them that Target prioritizes MY biological delusions over YOUR personal privacy.

#3) Walk around Target’s food section, opening all the bags and cans of food and just leaving them on the shelves. If someone asks what you’re doing, claim that you self-identify as a CURIOUS CAT who’s just looking for the catnip! MEOW!

#4) Announce you’re a NAKED MOLE RAT, then strip off all your clothes and run around digging holes in the floor.

…Prepare to be an instant celebrity on YouTube…

#5) Declare yourself to be a rare spotted owl, them claim the entire store is your HABITAT while invoking endangered species protections against being removed.

#6) Proclaim yourself to be an American Indian from the 1400’s, then HUNT for food in the fresh meat section using a bow and arrow. After you “kill” the fresh meat, just walk out the store with it.

#7) If you have a penis, spray all the walls of all the TARGET restrooms after proclaiming yourself to be a large male DOG engaged in “marking” your territory.

If someone tries to stop you, bark “BIGOT!” and keep peeing…

#8) Show up at Target in a large FEATHER costume, on a full stomach. Then go full bulimic and start vomiting all over everything while screaming that you’re “FEEDING THE YOUNG!”

… this works especially well in the produce section…

#9) When Target management tries to stop you:

… If the manager is WHITE, claim to be BLACK and scream “Discrimination!”

… If the manager is BLACK, claim to be ASIAN and scream “Discrimination!”

… If the manager is ASIAN, you aren’t in a TARGET store…

#10) Announce that you’re an ALIEN from another world, and start taking anal probe samples from Target’s management while screaming, “It’s for SCIENCE!”

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